ADMISHUN.

Papa's little girl is bearing with self-induced pain at the moment. Upon realization of her own flaws, she's a little confused and feels bad for being mean to others all the while. It's tough business, but she's learning.

So, thank you.

REMINDER.

I'd like to share this piece of advice from someone whose opinion I respect, and whose aspirations include bringing out the best in individuals, especially those of his own race because they (we) have to. Sometimes, all we need is a little reminder of who we are and what we should be doing for our own sake.

"Let Malays be proud of being committed to work. By that they will know the true meaning of success, which will reject the culture of ingratiating oneself and corruption. These characteristics alone are enough to redeem Malay dignity because others will be embarrassed to further question our abilities. We should focus our efforts on producing the best and to be proud of that. We are proud because of our genuine efforts and because we want others to judge us based on merit and our success. We inculcate a feeling of pride and value a sense of responsibility, a love for work and satisfaction when we do well. If the values I have mentioned can be included in our primary and secondary education system, we will surely create a greater generation of youths with high morals. The quality of education will improve and Malays will have greater dignity. The Prophet Muhammad PBUH led a simple life but it was filled with moral values." Remember that.

(taken from I,Too, Am Malay by Zaid Ibrahim)

PERBUALAN DUA SAHABAT.

(click on the images to enlarge)

BILA M&L.

Kadang-kadang manusia memang pelik. Dalam kes ini, jahanam.

Berita seperti ini memang susah untuk diterima. Kalau nak diikutkan hati, mahu sahaja muka depan suratkhabar itu tidak dihiraukan, cuba anggap seolah-olah tidak wujud. Atau, mahu sahaja laman web The Star Online itu dinavigasikan dengan menekan link iklan, terus ke laman web lain yang artikelnya lebih menyenangkan (atau mengenyangkan) hati dan jiwa seperti “Delight in Dim Sum”- www.kuali.com. Ah, alangkah bagusnya kalau dalam kehidupan seharian kita, hanya dim sum yang dihiraukan. Atau apa-apa perkara lain yang lebih relevan. Bukan seperti perbezaan agama. Bukan perasaan dengki antara bangsa, status, rupa.

Kenapa masalah seperti ini berlaku? Rasanya tidak perlu diberi jawapan objektif A, B, C dan D. I am in no position, nor do I have the knowledge to comment on this in a political perspective and therefore, I shall not. Tetapi, wajar jika masalah ini dipandang dari sudut moral dan terbukti, isu ini bukanlah isu pertama yang menghujahkan betapa kurangnya sikap HORMAT diantara rakyat Malaysia.

Siasatan sedang dijalankan, hanya perlu tunggu dan lihat siapa sebenarnya punya angkara, mangkuk hayun mana buat perangai (bak kata Papa). Mungkin kemudian keluar berita tangkapan pesalah-pesalah, dan hampir pasti fakta akan di’twist’kan oleh media mengikut telunjuk pihak atasan. Tapi kuat rasa hati, seperti sudah sah-sah angkara bangsa aku sendiri. Sedangkan media bebas melaporkan kejadian pembakaran Metro Tabernacle Church “a witness saw four people on two motorcycles (a.k.a Melayu merempit) breaking the glass front of the church and throwing an incendiary object inside before fleeing.”

Respect. Saling memahami dan bersikap terbuka. Manusia perlu menghormati untuk dihormati. Bukanlah niat untuk mengutuk bangsa sendiri, tapi cukup dengan berita-berita busuk seperti ini. Kalau hari ni kau bakar church, kalau esok dibakar pula Masjid Shah Alam? Lepas tu kau marah, sedangkan semuanya kau punya angkara, sedangkan asalnya kau yang memulakan proses karma itu. Sedangkan tidak diajar oleh agama keganasan seperti yang kau tergamak buat tu! Kalau sungguhpun tercalar sedikit perasaan kau oleh isu penggunaan nama Tuhan, membakar tempat keagamaan orang lain itu jauh lebih kejam, seolah-olah di rumah kau langsung tidak belajar akhlak dari keluarga, di sekolah langsung tidak memperoleh ilmu agama.

1Malaysia. Penat iklan ditayangkan di televisyen. Penat dipromosikan oleh Hot.fm, ada kau dengar? Bahkan Lite.fm dan Mix.fm juga turut serta, ada kau dengar? Mungkin siaran radio ini kau kurang minat, mungkin hanya untuk orang tua. Tapi Sinar.fm? Era?

Tengok sekarang, sebab ada yang perangai mangkuk hayun, aku berleter macam makcik tua. Nak buat macam mana, darah Melayu, berleter memang semulajadi dalam gene. Cakap memang hebat, sembang di kedai kopi memang kita paling pandai. Kena ingat juga, jangan cakap sahaja, harus ada perlakuan dan langkah-langkah memperbaiki diri. Semoga semuanya selamat (kecuali pesalah kes pembakaran ini). Semoga negara Malaysia selamat.

Hmm. Tadi ada menyebut Shah Alam, yang sebenarnya teringat dan teringin untuk makan dim sum murah di SACC Mall.

SENTIMENTS.

Last night, I found the need to find something.

Something I think I need to comprehend.

Something I think might solve the problem.

So I switched on my old Acer and I opened the archive.

I read them all. And took every word in.

Now, I’m not quite sure what to feel.

I don’t know what I got from all the reading.

One thing for sure, it gave me nothing whatsoever to solve the problem.

--- And having to read a part of it was a real pain too.

TRANSIT.

Location: Moscow. It's snowing here too, I should've brought my jacket. But oh well, glad I made it this far!

WHAT I USUALLY GET.

One random American:

(Approaches the desk with an indifferent/demanding/smiling/attentive expression)

American: Hi.

Me: Hi there, how can I help you?

American: Can I check out a laptop?

Me: Unfortunately we don't, not at the moment. But we have a waiting list for the laptops, would you like to be in the list as well?

American: Sure. How long would it take for me to get the laptop?

Me: It should take about half an hour or so.

American: Yea I'll go for that, thanks.

Me: Alright. So take this pager and whenever we have the laptop ready, we'll buzz you and you can come back here to get your laptop.

American: Sounds good, thanks!

Me: Yep, sure.

---------------------

One not-so-random Malaysian:

(Approaches the desk with a surprised/awkward expression)

Malaysian: Aida! You work here ah?

Me: Yesss, I do.

Malaysian: Gaji berapa?

Me: Err.

Me: (state the amount)

Malaysian: Ohh. Best gila.

Me: Haha.

Me: So.. how can I help you?

Malaysian: Nak laptop boleh?

Me: Boleh, tapi skarang ada waiting list for the laptops.

Malaysian: Ohh. Kaya kau sial.

Me: Hmm?

Malaysian: Senang gila kerja kau.

Me: Not really. Depends kadang-kadang time busy tu penat jugak doh.

Malaysian: Ohh.

Me: So do you want to be on the waiting list?

Malaysian: Aaaa takpe ah. Nanti aku datang check balik.

Me: Okay then.

Malaysian: So kalau aku nak kau print some things boleh?

Me: Haha. Boleh boleh.

Malaysian: Serious? Takyah bayar pape?

Me: Nope.

Malaysian: Terbaik. Pastu kalau nak print poster pun kau boleh tolong ah?

Me: Nah, kitorang staff pun still kena bayar separuh harga.

Malaysian: Lah. Takkan tak boleh.

Me: Seriously.

Malaysian: Tapi kalau kau print je senyap-senyap tak bayar bukan diorang tahu pun.

Me: Err. Yes, but..

Malaysian: Haaa then you can tolong aku lah. Aku nak print poster mahal sial.

Me: Cannot. Aku tanak buat jahat.

Malaysian: Laaa kau ni. Cannot help a friend meh?

Me: Bukan tanak tolong laa. Told you already even we have to pay. Mahal maaa.

Malaysian: Hmm. Okeh okeh.

Me: Yep.

Malaysian: Anyways, tolong aku print essay/assignment/article aku haaa.

Me: Okay okay.

---------------------

One random Chinese from Mainland China (CFMC):

(Approaches with a 'shy shy' expression)

Chinese: . . . .

Me: Hi! Can I help you with something?

Chinese: Err do you haf laptop?

Me: I'm sorry but we're out of laptops at the moment. Would you like to be on the waiting list though?

Chinese: OK...

Me: One sec. (Goes away from the front desk to get a pager)

Chinese: Are you Chinese? / Are you from China?

Me: Oh. Haha. No, I'm not. I'm from Malaysia.

Chinese: Oh.. (Shuts up and says nothing more after that)

---------------------

Me, now: =\

THE DRAFT.

It's been a while, hasn't it? I have been quiet in the blogging arena, which really means that my non-virtual life is being assaulted by huge amount of academic, professional, social and personal tasks and commitments. I know its not an uncommon thing for everyone, or at least those living the same stage of life as I am, the stage that I think is getting overwhelmingly hectic and exhausting most of the time. It's just too much of homework, too many meetings, part-time work, planning, events, fundraising, too much information overload, that you beg to have multiple brains wobbling (and operating) on top of your head. That you see people, say your hellos and the next thing you tell them is "Weh, I'm so tired." or "Gosh, banyak gila kerja." That you wish the term 'weekend' defines more than two days, perhaps three to be decent, each 48 hours long. Or, that you are sane enough you even begged for your thick, hardcover, small-fonted, dull-subjected, downright nasty piece of paged brick to spare you some mercy. It's a pain, that is what I'm getting at. It is for me and I know it is for you too, unless you're some nerd, or one freakin' smarthead. Which, in case if you really are then I'd suggest you click yourself away from this page because you are smart and you've probably got homework to be done. Yes it means I am jealous of you and now, I hate you.

Ahh, this is the point you get to when you only managed to have three hours of sleep on a weekend. Hmm.

Anyhow. I

.

-I've had at least three drafts similar to this one. They never end up being posted because I never get them finished and that's because by the time I wrote a paragraph or two I think they're just too much. Well, everything is nowadays. Been saying that.-

I SAT BESIDE THE BEAUTIFUL LAKE, AND I WONDERED WHY YOU WEREN'T SITTING THERE BESIDE ME.

sigh. bad Aida.

FOR THE RECORD.

Out of 201 total Dell and Mac workstations we have here, only two are occupied. The left side of the lab is completely empty and it looks pretty much clean and untouched with the office chairs all nicely pushed under the tables. All thanks to this Asian cleaner who keeps on coming in and out, at times with the cleaning engine, at times with just a spray and cloth. Personally, I've always preferred the left side of the lab, only because that is where all the brand new, glossy glassy iMacs are. i love those diamonds. Exceptional machines they are, unlike those Dell retards.

Speaking of retards, there is this one guy who keeps on coming in and out of the lab. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but its a problem when the guy is wearing shades. I mean that is not exactly a problem either, except that people don't usually put on their shades when they are inside a building, do they? I think not, especially when it is now 6.03am in the morning. Perhaps he is wearing computer eyeglasses, but I thought those are always just slightly tinted, not like the one he's wearing? Gila punya mamat. But of course, I shouldn't be complaining. At least I have two patrons to look after. At least I'm not left all alone here in the College Library Computer Lab.

Hmm. Six hours have passed, approximately two hours to go. Been chatting, did some budgeting stuff, replied some emails, watched a couple of YouTube-s, blogged for the music subject discussion, rebuilt some Macs and the lovely Pros, all with occasional (major) yawns and stretches in between. I also just had my sahur, which is not exactly a good thing as I would expect. A six-inch Seafood Sensation chow only means a reduced capability to stay awake. I am now, but barely. Baaaarely.

(6.14am: Saya bersama nametag dan Dell bangang di belakang).

Oh wow, sunrise. Didn't realize that.

Ahh, I can't think.

People are coming in. 6.23am. Hang in there a little more, Aida. This, ladies and gentlemen, is my first time working on a full night shift; eight hours straight, starting from midnight to 8 in the morning. I thought I should write down this special day. Its gonna be a long one though. I've got a class at 8.50, and two more after that right until 2.10pm. Will probably reach home at 2.30pm. And then yay, I can dump myself on the bed and off to dreamland, have a good rest.

But no, not quite. I work again at six. -_-" Ahh, this is when the Italians say "ohime."

Oh dear, I'm so tired.